I'm forever amazed at what can be used as a name for a car. In the U.S., there's a certain macho flair to it. For example, what they call the Nissan "Bluebird" in the rest of the world is called the "Maxima" in the States.
But what should these cars really be called? Here's a possible list.
Brought
to you by the Suzuki
Psychic
(The
car that knows where you're going even before you do!)
Mercury Mistake
Ford Expire
Nissan Wrathfinder
Honda Sick
Chevy Chimera
Ford Exploder
Olds Gutless Supreme
Ford Deranger/Stranger/Manger
Honda Deplored/Afford/Abhorred/Good Lord!
Toyota Taco Ma
Suzuki Sand-in-your-eye/Sam-I-am
Buick Less-Favor
Mistubishi Die, Man
Dodge Fart
Pontiac TransPlant
Isuzu Blooper/Drooper/Grouper/Pooper
Eagle Talcum
Chevy Vaguely
Subaru Leg o’ Lamb
Lincoln Frown Car
Buick Beagle/Reekle
Chevy Monte Python
Ford Bore-us/Deplore-us/Chorus/Ignore-us/Abhor-us/Score-us/Gore-us/Florist
Geo Slacker/Geo Trasher
Pontiac Bland Am
Toyota Corrode-a/Gondola
Olds Underachieva/Acheata
GMC Guffawri/Sosorry
Kia So-Whata/So-Sue-Me
Hyundai Snotta
Subaru Dusty/Rusty/Musty/Crusty…
Geo Prison
Nissan Sent-home
Jeep Grand Chickpea/Grand Therapy
Chevy Impaler
Ford Blunderbird
Dodge Tepid
Chrysler Cirrhosis
Dodge Grand Caramel/Grand Swearavan
Chevy Blastovan/Asshole Van
Mercury Pillager
Ford Air-o-head
Nissan Taxi-ma
Isuzu Bloateo/Toadeo/Commodeo
Toyota Mammary
You Go. (No, YOU
Go! Not me! No way!)
Acura Bludgeoned
Mercury Stable/Mable/Table/Label…
Dodge Wiper/Sniper/Griper/Hyper/Diaper
Ford Hemp-o (“It
really smokes!”)
Suzuki Miffed/Sniffed/Whiffed
Ford Drown Victoria LTD
Mitsubishi ‘e Flips
Chevy Glazer
Toyota NoFunner
Jeep Mangler/Strangler/Dangler
Honda Oddity/Plod-essy/Modesty/Odd-to-see/Oughta-see/Gotta-see
Dodge Damn Charger/Ramshackle
Plymouth Valium
What do YOU think they should have been? :)
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