The Candidate Responds 候選人的回覆

Since 2012 is an election year, I thought I'd post a rambling I did after being on an airplane for 20+ hours and finding myself jet-lagged in a Nike conference room somewhere in Asia.  --Mark

(more art here)

The Candidate Responds

I’m glad you asked that because I think it’s important that we talk about these things. Things like this need to be talked about and that’s what we’re here for. Issues of this nature are controversial because they inspire differing opinions on one or more sides, and it’s this very thing that I want to talk about today. We must define it clearly, completely, and in-depth.

And then we must take action. Now. I’m not talking tomorrow or next week. I’m talking now. My staff and I have put our heads together already and looked very seriously at the option of setting up a committee with the expressed purpose of quantifying our discussion readiness potential.

Car Names As They SHOULD Be 汽車命名

I'm forever amazed at what can be used as a name for a car. In the U.S., there's a certain macho flair to it. For example, what they call the Nissan "Bluebird" in the rest of the world is called the "Maxima" in the States.

But what should these cars really be called? Here's a possible list.

Brought to you by the Suzuki Psychic

(The car that knows where you're going even before you do!)

Overheard 竊聽

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Overheard

A Play in One Act

by Mark Ivan Cole

SCENE ONE

The scene opens to stage that is completely empty except for a park bench sitting in the very center facing the audience.

RHONDA approaches from Stage Right, sits down quickly on the right end of the bench and agitatedly digs into her purse for her cell phone. After viciously punching the numbers, she holds the phone to her ear.

RHONDA: Hi, Minnie, it’s Rhonda.

Yes! I did!

No, it did not go well.

Of course it didn’t go well! He’s such a jerk. He did exactly as you said he would.

Yes!

So we ate at the Bistro again, like I told you.

A salad. I always have a salad.

Well, they’ve got good salads, but I didn’t eat much this time.

No, but he’s just wolfing it down like his steak is the most important thing in the world and he can’t wait to eat it and get out of there.

So I finally told him I’d had enough, that it’s either her or me, and he—

I WISH! No, he didn’t choke, he just gave me this pained puppy-dog look and told me he couldn’t live without me.

Exactly, so I said: “Then don’t!” And he says “You want me to kill myself?” and I said, “No, I just want you to live with ME and not with HER.” And he goes into this whole thing about how if I really understood him and if I really cared, I wouldn’t put him in this position and things are really difficult right now and—

[During this section, PAUL enters slowly from Stage Left, holding the phone with an earpiece in his ear. He has a look a bemused concern on his face.]

PAUL: Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad!

RHONDA: YES, it WAS! It was the same damn thing all over again!

PAUL: He makes messes all the time. We have to put up with this behavior every time he gets stressed out over anything.

Kelso

by Mark Ivan Cole

The mist of dawn,
The rippling river,
Warm sun on leaves of gold,
Music,
Laughter, hope,
New wine
And long-awaited dreams—

The day is my fortune,
Vast beyond measure,
Treasured and guarded
Close to my heart.

And in the evening,
First kisses still warm,
You sail with me
Far into the blue.

In your eyes, my reflection
Gleams as never before.

The stars recall.
The sun remembers.
The river runs ceaselessly round the bend,
Still whispering thoughts of you, of me,
Of us.