Overheard 竊聽

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Overheard

A Play in One Act

by Mark Ivan Cole

SCENE ONE

The scene opens to stage that is completely empty except for a park bench sitting in the very center facing the audience.

RHONDA approaches from Stage Right, sits down quickly on the right end of the bench and agitatedly digs into her purse for her cell phone. After viciously punching the numbers, she holds the phone to her ear.

RHONDA: Hi, Minnie, it’s Rhonda.

Yes! I did!

No, it did not go well.

Of course it didn’t go well! He’s such a jerk. He did exactly as you said he would.

Yes!

So we ate at the Bistro again, like I told you.

A salad. I always have a salad.

Well, they’ve got good salads, but I didn’t eat much this time.

No, but he’s just wolfing it down like his steak is the most important thing in the world and he can’t wait to eat it and get out of there.

So I finally told him I’d had enough, that it’s either her or me, and he—

I WISH! No, he didn’t choke, he just gave me this pained puppy-dog look and told me he couldn’t live without me.

Exactly, so I said: “Then don’t!” And he says “You want me to kill myself?” and I said, “No, I just want you to live with ME and not with HER.” And he goes into this whole thing about how if I really understood him and if I really cared, I wouldn’t put him in this position and things are really difficult right now and—

[During this section, PAUL enters slowly from Stage Left, holding the phone with an earpiece in his ear. He has a look a bemused concern on his face.]

PAUL: Oh, come on, it can’t be that bad!

RHONDA: YES, it WAS! It was the same damn thing all over again!

PAUL: He makes messes all the time. We have to put up with this behavior every time he gets stressed out over anything.

RHONDA: Yeah, but this time it was, like, to the Nth degree! I think he knew I meant it this time.

PAUL: No. I don’t think so. It wasn’t so bad a few years ago, no. Come on…

RHONDA: And I was just finally too tired of it to care anymore.

PAUL sits slowly on the left end of the bench, not so bemused now.

PAUL: So what are you saying?

RHONDA: I told him right there that he had to make up his mind, and if he didn’t, I would make it up for him.

PAUL: Come on, he’s just not himself these days. I think it’s the diet. We could put him back on that more expensive stuff for awhile. He seemed to like it before.

RHONDA: No, he didn’t like that at all.

PAUL: Ok, so we could try something else. More exercise maybe. He doesn’t get out much since we’ve been so busy.

RHONDA: Yeah, well I don’t care what his problem is anymore. So I said, “I want to hear once and for all what you’re going to do and when you’re going to do it.”

PAUL: Well, we HAVE been busy and it’s not like YOU take him out very much. I—

RHONDA: Exactly, he turned it right back around to me. He’s so passive-aggressive.

PAUL: Look, I know he’s mine, but I can’t be responsible for everything. Besides, you’re there every day—

RHONDA: So he wants a schedule. I don’t know. A timetable of what I expect, like I’m his boss or something. Not like he’s ever going to do anything about it, though.

PAUL: I didn’t mean that. I didn’t mean that. I just meant that if we can—

RHONDA: Forget it.

PAUL: If we can give him a little extra attention right now, this will probably improve over time. And I’m not exactly in position to—

RHONDA: Right, I said forget it. I’ve been through this long enough. I know the pattern now and I’m making my move.

PAUL stands up and starts to pace slowly, back and forth behind the bench

PAUL: I think we can do better than that.

RHONDA: Yeah, it was the end of the line. That’s it. So I—[she stops and catches herself before she cries].

PAUL: No, I don’t think we can blame it all on him. He’s just a dog.

RHONDA [sniffling]: I know. I’m OK. Really.

PAUL: Look, I think you’re more angry at me than at him and I—

RHONDA: Well it’s just that—

PAUL: Let’s not jump to conclusions.

RHONDA: I guess I thought that once I said good bye I’d feel better.

PAUL: If there’s something you want to say to me, then say it.

RHONDA: And I don’t.

PAUL [lets out a long, slow breath]: Ok.

RHONDA: It’s just that I’ve been hoping for better all this time and it’s just never showed up.

PAUL: So should I come home? I might—

RHONDA [pulls out a tissue and wipes her eyes]: And it’s over and I just realized I can’t hope anymore.

PAUL: You DON’T want me to come home?

RHONDA [sniffles]: Well, it’s just hard to see that go.

PAUL: I don’t think there’s any need for that.

RHONDA: Yeah, I know but I HAD to.

PAUL: So what do you want to do with him?

RHONDA: I don’t know. It just hurts.

PAUL: I don’t think he’s the problem. I think we should have looked at things more closely before we made some of the decisions we’ve made recently.

RHONDA: I’m just too tired, I guess.

PAUL [stops with his back to RHONDA]: Let’s not make any more decisions just now.

RHONDA: Ok, I’ll let you know. I’m just going home now. Bye. [She hangs up her cell phone and puts it in her purse. Slowly, she gets up, walks past PAUL and exits Stage Left.]

PAUL [turning just as RHONDA passes, so he never sees her]: Ok, I’ve got a few more things to do. Let me finish up here and I’ll come home. Ok?

[Adjusts the earpiece]

Beth?

[Checks the phone display]

Damn.

[Yanks off the earpiece, stuffs it in his pocket, turns sharply and exits the way he entered, Stage Left.]

SCENE TWO

[STEPHEN enters from Stage Right, pulling his cell phone from his pocket.]

STEPHEN: Hello.

This is Stephen.

Oh, hi, Jonathan! Thanks for calling me back.

[STEPHEN sits on the Right end of the bench.]

Yes, we’re still interested.

Definitely.

Oh, yes, it’s just the kind of house we’ve been looking for.

No, not right away.

[TARA enters from Stage Right, already on the phone.]

TARA: How about 5:00?

STEPHEN: Well, we’re not in a great hurry. Sooner is always better than later, it’s just that—

TARA: What do you mean, that’s too late? It’s hardly any time at all.

STEPEN: No, the layout’s fine. In fact that’s what we like most about it. It’s the location, really.

TARA: Too close to what?

STEPHEN: A very nice neighborhood, I agree, at least on the surface. But we have concerns.

TARA [sarcastically]: Oh, like that matters!

STEPHEN: Well, to be honest, it’s the people in the neighborhood more than the neighborhood itself.

TARA: It doesn’t matter to ME! I don’t know why you care. It’s not like anything special happens.

STEPHEN: But it’s still something we have to take into consideration.

TARA: This is so arbitrary!

STEPHEN: [Sighs] No, I know, it shouldn’t make a difference, but it does.

TARA: So I can’t get on with my life because you have some agenda that makes no sense to me at all?

STEPHEN: Look, you may be fine with us, and I appreciate that, but if David and I move into that neighborhood, I’m afraid we’ll stick out like the proverbial sore thumb.

TARA: So it’s all about you then?

STEPHEN: Essentially, yes.

TARA: What about MY life?

STEPHEN: It’s all about getting the right combination. Again, this place is perfect otherwise.

TARA: One little thing and everything I want goes out the window.

STEPHEN: Yeah, it’s just not insignificant. To us it’s a go/no-go decision.

TARA: So that’s it?

STEPHEN: Yes, I’m afraid it’s a no-go this time.

TARA: What if I just don’t come home.

STEPHEN: Well, you have to live somewhere, but it’s got to be comfortable. Thanks, Jonathan. Would you keep looking, though? You’ve found some wonderful places so far.

TARA: I don’t think I HAVE another option.

STEPHEN: Thanks, Jonathan. Good bye. Take care. Bye

[STEPHEN hangs up and dials another number.]

TARA: I can take care of myself.

STEPHEN: Hi, it’s me.

TARA: So what?

STEPHEN: I just told Jonathan no on that place in Glenview.

TARA: You’d say no anyway.

STEPHEN: Well, I just didn’t think it was a good choice.

TARA: See what I mean?

STEPHEN: After considering everything, I just didn’t think it was a good choice.

TARA: See? It’s all about what YOU think is best for me. How do you know what’s best for me? Did you ASK me?

STEPHEN: We talked about this, David.

TARA: Yeah, but you never listen!

STEPHEN: I thought we agreed that the opportunity was a little iffy.

TARA: No, you didn’t listen. If you had, you would have understood how important this is to me.

STEPHEN: I know you had your heart set on it, but I really think we’d be biting off more than we could chew.

TARA: That’s what YOU say.

STEPHEN: I know I’m more conservative than you, but I think my instincts are good on this one.

TARA: Fine, whatever.

STEPHEN: There’s a difference between cautiousness and paranoia.

TARA: Yeah, but this is way over the line.

STEPHEN: I’m just trying to do what’s best for us.

TARA: I’m not a kid anymore, so stop treating me like one.

STEPHEN: I just don’t want to see you getting hurt again.

TARA: I’m not.

STEPHEN: After our last experience I’m just not willing to risk it again.

TARA: You’re not protecting me from anything. You just can’t come to grips with the fact that I’m my own person.

STEPHEN: But as long as we’re together, this is going to be an issue.

TARA: So bag it.

STEPHEN: No, I don’t think that’s the point, David—

TARA: No. Do what you want. I don’t have to do the same thing.

STEPHEN: All right, even if I am doing this for myself, I think that’s a legitimate consideration.

TARA: Not if it affects me.

STEPHEN: We’re both involved here.

TARA: Not if I don’t want to. I’m not like you. I don’t want to be like you and it’s not up to you who I am.

STEPHEN: I’m NOT ashamed of myself, David, and I’m not ashamed of US.

TARA: So give it up.

STEPHEN: It’s not that simple and you know it.

TARA: You know what? I’m done.

STEPHEN: No, I haven’t given up. There are lots more out there.

TARA: No, I mean it: I’m done. I’m outta here.

STEPHEN: Ok, not this place but somewhere, you know?

TARA: I’m hanging up, OK? And when I do, I’m going to disappear and you won’t find me.

STEPHEN: We’ll keep looking. Stick with me on this one, all right? I’ll try to be a bit more flexible.

TARA: Nope. I’m serious. I’m done.

STEPHEN: I’ll be brave. Just don’t ask me to be foolhardy.

TARA: I don’t need anything from you.

STEPHEN: Fair enough.

TARA: Too late. Sorry.

[TARA hangs up and starts to walk away. She pauses.]

STEPHEN: Ok, David. We’ll do what we can, huh?

One thing at a time.

[TARA sets the phone down on the park bench and exits Stage Left.]

STEPHEN: Let’s just look forward and see what we can do.

Uh-huh.

Ok.

I love you, too.

[STEPHEN stands up and starts to exit Stage Left.]

See you when I get home.

Bye now.

[Tara’s cell phone rings four times. No one answers.]

SCENE THREE

[BARRY enters from Stage Left dressed in basketball gear. He moves around the whole time—sometimes sitting, sometimes mimicking movements as he speaks.]

BARRY: So it’s me an’ JJ an’ LeVar.

Yeah, the Dream Team. We got speed, we got quickness, we got leap an’ we got STYLE, man, I’m tellin’ ya.

Oh, yeah, tons, man. We had ‘tude to spare. Trashed ‘em bad even before the game.

[JOAN enters from Stage Left and sets on the left end of the bench.]

JOAN: You shouldn’t let him do that to you.

BARRY: Yeah, why not?

JOAN: Because it’s demeaning. No one has the right to be disrespectful.

BARRY: They was pullin’ that intimidation thing, standin’ real close, like, “Ooo! We’re so tall. Ooo!” Stupid shit like that. So we was talkin’ trash right back.

JOAN: Well, that probably didn’t help.

BARRY: Oh they riled up by the time we hit the court. First possession, I get stiff-armed.

JOAN: I don’t care what you did! He doesn’t have the right to push you around.

BARRY: Oh, yeah! Stiff-armed! But I flopped real good. ‘Bout landed in these two chick’s laps. I’m starin’ up at two serious sets, man, right there courtside. Very sweet!

JOAN [sarcastically]: Right!

BARRY: No, even better! I get the bucket AN’ the foul AN’ the extra point!

JOAN: So he gets whatever he wants and you just…what…accept that?

BARRY: Yeah, man, I’m up three nothing plus two chicks on the side! I scorin’ ON the court an’ OFF today, man.

JOAN: Janie, I’m sorry, that’s pathetic. Listen to yourself.

BARRY: Ok, so now they really pissed, right?

JOAN: I suppose.

BARRY: So we keep tradin’ shots. We scorin’ from the outside, they scorin’ from the inside, but JJ an’ me is hittin’ the treys now, so we jam down eighteen points to their twelve an’ it’s one trey away from takin’ it all.

JOAN: Well, good for you, but he’s not likely to just give up at this point, is he? I mean, with everything at stake?

BARRY: No shit, man. So JJ sets th’ screen an’ LeVar drives the inside like he do an’ dish it back to me, right? So I line up outside the line an’ Davis come smashin’ into JJ like a Mac truck…

JOAN: Sorry, Janie. I don’t trust that guy farther than I can throw him.

BARRY: Oh, yeah, JJ goes down like a brick, man, an’ I’m up with th’ shot an’ I did like I told you—[interrupted]

JOAN: You what?

BARRY: Oh yeah, baby! I did it! My signature. I launch that muthah an’ I givin’ Davis the bird the same time!

JOAN: And he just took that from you?

BARRY: Truth! All truth! I ain’t shittin’ you, man! I told you I’s gonna do it. An’ the shot’s good, man—it’s GOOD! Game over!

JOAN: So what did he do after that? I shudder to think.

BARRY: He’s, like, purple, man! Like—

JOAN: Oh, Janie, you two don’t need a counselor, you need a referee!

BARRY: Like anyone’s gonna get between me an’ Davis just then!

JOAN: You okay?

BARRY: You would not b’lieve this. Get this: Charlayne—

JOAN: Who called?

BARRY: Charlayne, y’ know: Davis’ chick. She’s like standing up in the stands and screamin’ [imitating Charlayne] “DON’T YOU GO FIGHTIN’ ON ME! DON’T YOU GO FIGHTIN’ ON ME!!” Like that!

JOAN: I suppose anything would help. Just break the tension, I suppose.

BARRY: Like she’s his momma! Stops him cold, just like that.

JOAN: At least you avoided another physical altercation.

BARRY: Yeah, his face gets all funny and he jus’ turn an’ walk off. Jones an’ Reuben jus’ follow, y’ know, like whip puppies. We’s laughin’ so bad—

JOAN: So what are you going to do now?

BARRY: Oh, we celebratin’ right there ‘cause those two on the sidelines been givin’ me the eye the whole game, man. But I’s laughin’ so hard I can’t stand up. We’s all laughin’. JJ lyin’ on the court, he laughin’.

JOAN: You going to call Marian Johnson finally?

BARRY: No, they all comin’ to ME, man.

JOAN: Well, I think you should call. You have to take the initiative, Janie.

BARRY: Damn straight.

JOAN: Well, that’s up to you, but I don’t want you to find yourself out on the street and not have any recourse.

BARRY: An’ there’s more where that came from, I’m tellin’ ya. Oh, yeah!

JOAN: Ok, but I’m glad you called me anyway. Do you want me to call her for you?

BARRY: You get your own, dude!

JOAN: Well, I’ve got to get back. I’ll call you tomorrow. Sounds like you’ve got a little breathing space for the moment.

BARRY: I goin’ home, crash and then hittin’ the spots later.

JOAN: Where will you go?

BARRY: Maybe Rico’s or The Crystal. Depends.

JOAN: Well, you know how to reach me.

BARRY: I see you there, bro.

JOAN: You take care, Janie.

BARRY: Right on. I’m gone.

BARRY hangs up and exits Stage Right, flipping his phone in his hand.

JOAN: You can always call, you know.

I mean that. I don’t care where I am.

Okay.

Okay.

Bye, Janie.

You too.

Bye.

[Hangs up, sets the phone in her lap and lets out a long sigh.]

[Stage goes dark with JOAN still sitting on the bench.]

_____

Notes:

We used to be concerned when we saw people talking to themselves on the street, but with the advent of cellphones, people seem to be talking to themselves a lot. They're not actually talking to themselves, but they certainly seem to be. Or maybe they are. We also seem to spend less time listening to each other, at least in person. With this play I tried to take that to the extreme while I wondered just how much our crosstalk might intersect. I'd love to see this acted out.  --Mark